What is the tie that binds?

Each of us is different, yet the same. We are a band of thieves, stealing from each other. Stealing the time we should be giving each other. Afraid of exposing ourselves, afraid of giving more than we receive, afraid of looking weak or letting others know our weaknesses. We act like bullies in a playground by stealing from each other the most valuable thing there is, and that is the time we give each other in words and actions that do not include mutual distraction like television or ball games. The time we give our children together, the time we walk and talk, the time we can exercise together, the time we can record our lives together in photography, writing, picnics, and chores about the house that provide us a sense of accomplishment of a job well done; the burden shared, not divided.

It makes little sense that we can live alone and do tasks such as lawn-work, laundry, cooking, cleaning and yet when we are joined with another, we divide the work into gender roles and spend our time alone. Didn’t we become “one” to spend time together? Why then, once joined, do we strive to spend time apart? We grow in different directions instead of like ones. And slowly like splitting wood for the fireplace, we place a wedge of division between us, splitting the one, back into two, or three, or more.

Awaiting the fire, divided into portions are the logs of our lives

“What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” Words often spoken but seldom recognized. Most of the time it is not an outside person but ourselves who place the wedge between us, some out of fear that they will be recognized as weaker than the facade displayed to the other to win affection, some out of selfish desire, others, unwittingly believing “That’s ‘his’ job”, or “that’s ‘her’ job.”

There is an old gospel song, “Blest be the ties that bind our hearts together” that should be true, not only in our marriages, but in our relationships together as a family, a synagogue or church or neighbors. Yes, Christ is the tie, and no stronger tie does he bind than the marriage to one chosen, but it binds us to our children, our parents, our neighbors. It is ‘a tie that binds our hearts, in Christian love, a fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above’. Yes, it is like a glass of water; it can be doled out in teaspoons, or it can be a drink from the glass. No teaspoon greater than the other, but a refreshing swallow of pure delight, not sipped, but drank in down refreshing volume revitalizing the ones who partake.

Imagine the joy of the Belgium at Bastogne as the force joined together from all the states delivered them from bondage, from the oppression, the scalding drink of Germany. The task could not have been accomplished by just anyone, but by the joining of “the all Americans” a drink of freedom was delivered and by the joining of the nations. But a nation is not one corporate entity unto itself; it is the men and women who comprise it. And that nation, that city, that family is comprised of “like minds” who who hold certain truths and values together in shared union.

Where is the United States today? Was it not founded “One nation, under God, indivisible?” And now it is not just 50 states, but it is further divided just like a log is divided before it is prepared for the fire. The church is divided, the politics is divided, the faiths are divided, the ethnic groups are divided, the economic classes are divided. The very things that brought us together are destroyed just like the institution of marriage for one life to another. We “divide and conquer. (Divide et impera)” We destroy the temple”; we destroy our lives and our children’s lives because we have lost our focus, our cause, our love. We have become Hannibal Lecter. We divide the body into parts and wrap them in cellophane to clearly identify the ‘one’ but not the body.

How do we then recover, how do we then survive? Our strength is in our numbers, our strength comes from the lifting of spirit, the sharing of toil, the like mindedness that brings a smile to our faces as we hold each other’s hands, as we sing together in a magnificent sound, not that of one voice, singing in the darkness.

I have fallen, and while my body mends, my soul does not. I do not even reach out to bind my heart to the one who created me and mended me. I retreat into myself and mourn all that has happened as I have become the great wood cutter, “Paul Bunyan” preparing my life for the fire.

Pray for me, pray for your spouse, pray for your children, our nation, our world. Pray before the whole is cast into the fire.